Wait…wrong cue card.

Here it is: WELCOME TO SMART NONSENSE 🌈

What the hell is Smart Nonsense?

First, language!

Second, I could tell you…or I could tell you a STORY.

So sit your lil booty down.

No, literally sit the f*ck down.

Good.

Because you’re lucky. I’m setting you up on a date...with this dime 👇

Ya, this super-out-of-your-league dime.

But don’t worry — you’re looking slick.

You got your teeth whitened, body waxed, and best spinner hat on.

Aka you’re crushing.

Oh, by crushing I meant bombing.

Enter: Violent, uncontrollable lizard-brain panic.

SHIT 🤬

Your muscles seize, your pits sweat, and your bowels pull to eject.

SHIT 💩

Ya, it’s a DEFCON 1 emergency. So you excuse yourself, haul ass to the bathroom, and slam the stall door shut.

But then…you breathe deep.

Because you know what to do. You drop your drawers, dig into your pocket, and yank out this:

Uh. No, scroll down more.

More.

More.

Jesus. You need help.

WAIT.

THERE.

ZOOM IN!

THE HISTORY OF CHEESE!

BY SMART NONSENSE 🌈!

But stop…before you click…realize that your life will look like this graph:

Translation: Smart Nonsense makes you dope.

But…there’s no going back.

Are you sure you wanna do this?

Awwww.

Okay, brace for the count down.

3……

2……………..

1………………………….CLICK!

Yessir 🤟

You teach her that 1 knowledge bomb, and go on to live the perfect life.

You marry, have genius kids, and make $2 billion trading cheese futures.

The end…

…uhhhhhhh NOT! 🇰🇿

You’re a junkie now.

See you tasted the rainbow 🌈… now you want more.

So every morning you sit down on the toilet, pop open Gmail, and take a hit of that sweeeeeeet Smart Nonsense.

Which gives you superhuman abilities:

• You speak Braille
• You identify UFOs
• You find the last digit of pi
• You award a prize to the Nobel Academy
• You win the lifetime achievement award… twice

So after just a few weeks, your life looks like this:

Legendary.

So what’s this miracle called Smart Nonsense?

1 story for your daily poop break 💩

A story that actually makes learning fun – unlike prison school.

Not only with jokes that double as laxatives, but also with lessons proven to impress friends, seduce lovers, and dazzle God (while you ride a unicorn).

But before we jump in, do your boy a solid.

Tell your inbox we’re friends – or else it’ll send us to the SPAM gulag.

(Aka those Soviet prisons that are super not fun.)

Just reply “Skurt”

(Add more T’s depending on your level of stokedness.)

Gracias.

Now get ready to geek the next school day when your first email drops 💌

Stay cute,

Dylan & Henry 🌈

P.S. If you're too antsy to wait, check out How Steve Jobs Copied Picasso

P.P.S if you enjoyed this, forward it to a friend.

If you’re that sexy friend, subscribe here.