Sunscreen SPF Is a Gimmick 🧴

Hey sunburner,

You ever see someone like this?

That’s a Facekini.

A $4 mask designed to keep your face white.

Why?

Because in Asia, white is beautiful.

Why?

Because society does this:

The rich hate the poor.

It’s a universal law of human nature.

So the rich run from them.

In Asia, they run into their office – which keeps their skin white. So the poors are stuck outside…tanning.

But in America, the poors found them in the office. So now the rich run outside…tanning.

Graphically, it’s the midwit meme.

Fascinating.

(Side note: It’s also why rich people dress like hobos – ripped jeans, faded sweaters, and $1,850 trashed sneakers.)

But my point is…we have a mixed relationship with the sun ☀️

We like it, but not too much.

For example, let’s say you’re at the beach.

Girls are nice.

But the sun is mean.

Because after a while, it sizzles your skin — so you look for protection.

Now historically, you had a few options:

• Egyptians used beeswax
• Greeks used olive oil
• Romans used mud

But everything changes in 1938 with this one dude in Austria:

Nein!

It’s Franz Greiter:

Franz is sad.

Not because no pictures of him exist – but because while climbing Mount Piz Buin (lol what a name) he got sunburnt to a crisp.

Now most of us would just take the L, but Franz is a ~nerd~

So he does science 🌈

And invents…

Ya, he invents sunscreen — which he names after Piss Bun mountain or whatever.

But there’s only 1 problem…

Basically, how much sun is screened?

So he creates a metric: Sun Protection Factor (SPF).

How’s it work?

Well, lemme nerd out quick.

So, the sun shoots out all types of light:

• Gamma
• X-ray
• Ultraviolet
• Visible
• Infrared
• Microwave
• Radio wave

Hell, just look at this drawing:

Now half this light is friendly.

The other half wants to kill us.

Ya, the ouch light is on the left.

See its wavelength?

SMALL. FAST.

Basically, it’s the world’s smallest jackhammer.

So small in fact, that it can break your DNA – which kills your cells and gives you cancer.

But luckily, Earth got your back.

Because it has its own sunscreen – THE ATMOSPHERE.

See the atmosphere blocks most ouch light from reaching us.

But some still slips through…ultraviolet B & A.

Which UV hurts more — B or A?

B.

That’s because the UVB model jackhammer is even smaller & faster — causing sunburns and ~cancer~

But UVA still hurts too.

It goes deeper into your skin – causing wrinkles and aging.

But here’s the catch with sunscreen SPF…

SPF only says how much UVB the sunscreen blocks – it says nada about UVA.

Wrong.

That’s catch #2.

Sunscreen SPF isn’t linear — it’s logarithmic.

For example:

• SPF 15 = 94% protection
• SPF 30 = 97% protection
• SPF 100 = 99% protection

Crush ass,

Dylan & Henry

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